Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.
Do you continually take on more than you can chew? Are you running rescue operations and doing more than your share for other people? Do you feel responsible for others’ happiness and well being? Are you overly dependent on others’ approval and what they think of you? Do you continually put other people’s needs first?
If so, you may be codependent and codependency can make you fat!
Here is the definition of codependency from Wikipedia:
Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.
Many emotional overeaters are codependents. They have a hard time saying no and setting personal boundaries. They often say yes when they mean no because they want to be liked and accepted by others, and they have a hard time with other people’s anger. Codependents often feel guilt or shame when they try to assert themselves. They can alternate from being overly compliant to overly controlling.
Codependents can be masters of self-neglect, putting everyone first, which leaves them feeling continually empty and depleted. This behavior leads to resentment and then right to the refrigerator! Codependents also love to do “the ol’ stew and chew,” that is they obsessively ruminate over the behavior of others and then eat over it!
How can you overcome codependent patterns and stop being a reactionary?
1. Get therapy or coaching
2. Join a support group
3. Begin to set boundaries and say no.
4. Stop rescuing others. Let people do their share and face their own consequences in life.
5. Do family of origin work. Codependency usually begins in childhood. Look at family patterns that you’re still engaging in.
6. Stop expecting others to make you happy. Generate happiness from within.
7. Take the time to explore your wants, needs, and desires. Develop some hobbies and interests that nourish you.
8. Develop a prayer and or meditation practice to help you gain the awareness and spiritual strength to let go of trying to contro, rescue or fix others.
9. Begin to validate yourself and meet your own needs. It’s OK to take good care of yourself! Stop playing the martyr.
As codependents learn to meet their emotional needs, instead of trying to get others to meet them, they begin to feel more at peace and empowered. They develop a stronger sense of self and this results in taking more risks and creating a life that is truly nourishing to them. Their eating improves because they are no longer eating out of their reactivity to the behavior of others and stop using food to meet their emotional needs. How you do food is how you do life!®
Are you a reactionary? Do you need to learn to set better boundaries? Master your weight problem and your life! Life coaching can teach you the skills of healthy self care so that you can overcome emotional overeating. Contact me for a free consultation!
Inspirational Quotes, Reflective Questions and Thoughts by Catherine L. Taylor
- Thinking you’re responsible for others’ happiness is the quickest way to lose your own.
- Do I know where I end and others’ begin? Am I taking responsibility for another’s problem?
- It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Serving others from a place of fullness is true caring. Martyrdom isn’t healthy!
- Resentment feeds on itself only to leave you stuffing yourself.
I am responsible for my emotional needs, thoughts, and feelings.
I engage in good self-care so that I may be of service to others.
When I am happy and cared for, I have more happiness to share with others.
I have the power to generate happiness from within.
I say yes only when I mean yes.
I have a right to say no.
Read more about affirmations here.
Are you a reactionary? Do you need to learn to set better boundaries? Is emotional eating keeping you from losing weight and living the life you want? Do you need to learn how to take better care of yourself?
If so, you may be a candidate for coaching. Coaching can make the difference between success and failure.
I have found that people who struggle with food and emotional eating are released from that prison once they learn the skills of mindful awareness and mindful eating, emotional self-nurturing, developing a spiritual or meditation practice, and learning to set appropriate limits and goals.
This turns off the urge to overeat and engage in other compulsive behaviors. When you feel better, you eat better! I have walked this path myself, and it has led me to peace and freedom.
The goal of my coaching is to create a lighter, balanced, healthier, nourishing and joy-filled life. You will begin to see results in all areas of your life because How You do Food is How You do Life!®
I coach and mentor people in the areas of: permanent weight loss, food addiction, compulsive, emotional overeating, binge eating recovery, creative self expression, spiritual direction, mindfulness, meditation, self care and stress management, self esteem and body image issues.
Note: My work is spiritually focused, not religious, and fits with any belief system you may have, even agnostic. My work assumes that you have all the wisdom and answers you need inside of you.
What you call this place — God, intuition, Higher Power, inner wisdom, or True Self — is up to you. I am simply a guide bringing you back to the truths that are already inside of you.
If you want to know more about why and how coaching works click here.
Contact me for a free consultation!
I hope you have enjoyed my newsletter. Drop me a line and let me know how you are doing. I love to hear what’s working for you and read about your success stories.
Catherine L. Taylor’s
How You do Food is How You do Life!®
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