It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
~Leonardo Da Vinci
Some of us experience life as passive observers. Life happens to us. We have what psychologists call an external locus of control. That is, we perceive our lives as being controlled by external events that are outside of our control.
People with an external locus of control tend to view themselves as victims of life. They are passive and quick to blame circumstances or other people for their problems. They give up quickly at the slightest obstacle or setback because they feel their actions have little impact on the outcome of their lives. They are basically resigned to their fate, which they feel is out of their hands.
If you have this passive life orientation, it can leave you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, vulnerable to depression, overeating, addiction, highly reactive, and at the mercy of other people. It can also leave you feeling trapped by circumstances, as you cannot see or act on other choices and options that may be available to you. This learned helplessness may have its origins in your childhood, where you felt helpless to change or have much positive impact on our environment.
Now, in your adult life, you’re still acting as if you have no personal power to positively impact your life.
People with an internal locus of control are active participants in their lives. They view themselves as the master of their fates or destiny. They feel in control of their futures and therefore are proactive and motivated to take action. They are willing to make sacrifices and put in the effort to make things happen. They’re persistent because they know that their actions will eventually bring them the success they seek. They make their own luck in life. They are generally more happy, successful, healthy, and optimistic than their passive counterparts.
So how can you begin to develop a more internal locus of control?
The first step to move from victim to victorious is awareness. You begin to freely create your world when you become aware of your power of choice. Instead of automatically responding to a stimulus – a person, food, situation, or feeling – practice pausing, reflect on your options, choose your response, then act. You may not be able to change our circumstances, but you do have power over how you react to them – and the response you choose, powerfully affects your circumstances – often for the better.
Here are 5 Tips to Move from Victim to Victorious in Your Life
- Stop blaming outside circumstances and ask yourself, “What am I willing to do to change my life?”
- Begin to look for opportunities to make changes.
- Take small steps towards the things you desire, instead of waiting for them to magically appear or happen to you, or waiting until you feel ready or confident to undertake them. Confidence comes from the actual doing.
- Actively seek out new stimulating situations or people, instead of complaining about the dreary state of your life.
- Begin to ask for help and seek out solutions for those problems that have eluded you.
Too much information, overthinking, and overanalyzing can keep you stuck for years. Many people prefer to collect information and analyze, talk about, and obsess over their weight issue than to take action. Unfortunately, you can’t think or talk your way to weight loss. Insight without action is worthless. Unless you put your insights and knowledge into practice, they have no power to transform your life.
A person with a victim mentality wants something or someone else to fix them. They will often flit from program to program never fully committing themselves, or applying what they’ve learned, and then say, “Nothing ever works for me.” If you’re a program flitter, or the type who has an entire library full of diet, nutrition, and weight loss books but don’t apply what you’ve learned, it’s time to focus on sustained, consistent action so that you can manifest some results.
Is life happening to me? Or am I taking action to make things happen?
I’d love to help you manifest the weight loss results you’re looking for. I offer a free consultation.
Most people don’t have the willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.
— Carlos Santana
There are really only three types of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say, “What happened?”
― Ann Landers
I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I’m still here. I have a history of victory.
― Steve Maraboli
It is not uncommon for someone to be a self-saboteur and compound that by also having a victim mentality. It is as though they are holding their own breath and then blaming others for their inability to breathe. If they can break free from this cycle, everything in their life changes for the better.
― Steve Maraboli