You are what you are seeking. Your soul has been waiting patiently for you to find her. Turn your gaze inward and you will find her.
As a weight loss coach and emotional eating expert, my clients are mostly women who are compulsive, emotional overeaters, food addicts, and binge eaters. These people have struggled with food and weight for a long time. They have tried many different diets and weight loss approaches, and all have failed.
They often view their weight problem as the main barrier to their happiness and success in life. They are certain that once they lose the weight their real lives will begin, and the story of their lives will have a happy ending, with either prince charming arriving on his white horse, and or all their problems magically disappearing.
The weight is not the problem, it is only a symptom. The larger issue is one of separation: a separation of the mind, body, and spirit. Food and weight obsessions are a calling to wholeness and spiritual unity.
Your weight problem is the way your spiritual uneasiness is manifesting itself in the world. When you’re obsessed with food and weight you are focused on a surface issue, and on your surface (ego) self. To truly put an end to the problem, you must dive into the deepest depths of your Being, into the heart of the sacred mystery that is you.
You are not who you think you are. You are not just a mother, wife, husband, girlfriend, worker bee, or overweight man or woman. First and foremost, you are spiritual being yearning to express your deepest, most divine Self in the world. You are a co-creator with the divine power of the universe. The secret to permanent weight loss is to remember and recover who you really are.
Your real job on this planet is to give expression to this Sacred Self. It is only when you start to express and live from this Self, that life begins to change in the most amazing ways. Healing requires taking the disowned and discarded parts of yourself, and tenderly patching them into the loving quilt of self-acceptance. It is by embracing your fragile humanness that you discover your greatest strengths.
Self-forgiveness is the healing balm that paves the way to self-acceptance. Once you have recovered your authentic Self, you are able to reclaim your divine gifts and bring these into the world. This is what it means to become the hero or heroine of your own life.
And you thought you just needed to lose some weight!
You are the most fascinating creature on the planet. If only you could believe that! There is an entire universe inside of you just waiting for you to discover it. You're convinced that an expert, a book, a new weight loss diet, a workout, or a new romance is the answer to your weight problem. You come to me looking for answers, yet the answers are locked away inside of you, just waiting for you to take the keys and unlock their secrets!
My advice is always to take your attention and put it on yourself. Turn your gaze inward to find your authentic self. She is patiently waiting for you to find her. Gaze within yourself with the eyes of a curious lover. Increase your openness and trust. Surrender to the greater mystery of you.
Your deeper self will reveal to you all that you need to know. I cannot tell you what your highest good is. No one but you, can penetrate the mystery of you. I can only act as a humble guide and point you in the direction of the keys.
What are the keys to unlocking this great mystery? The keys are willingness, surrender, faith, courage, curiosity, openness, and inquiry.
You must begin to ask the questions. Who am I really? What am I beneath my surface (ego) self? Are the stories and the beliefs I hold about myself really true? What am I afraid of? What is this obsession with food and weight really about? What am I avoiding by focusing on food and weight? What is my true purpose and mission in life? How does my soul want to express itself in this lifetime?
Until you begin to ask yourself the questions you will not receive the answers. As it is said in the bible, "Ask and you will receive, knock and the door will be opened."
You must ask. Many of you are afraid to look within because you're either afraid of what you'll find or you think there will be nothing there! This is simply not true.
Where will you find your Higher Self? Beneath the reverberant chatter of your mind, lies the ground of your Being. The heart of this Being is pure love. Your spirit is love itself! All that you are seeking is contained within you. As it is said in the bible, "The kingdom of heaven is within you."
Your ego self is an illusion. It is the veil of unreality. Underneath the persona of the small self that you identify as you, lies a much deeper reality. It is a vastness of Self that contains the Universe.
Your authentic self is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Your self-seeking in the world of outer illusion will never bring you what you seek. It creates a hunger that can never be satisfied through external things because the source of your hunger is your Sacred Self that is calling out for nourishment and expression. Your job is to find her, and listen to her secret wisdom and guidance. Only she knows how to quench your deepest hunger and longings.
How do you find her? She exists in the silence. She speaks in whispers. You must get still to hear her speak. She will answer you in prayer, yoga, meditation, art or in nature. She can be found wherever stillness exists. Her clues are everywhere.
Her only requirement is awareness, the awareness of a deeper reality and oneness that is at the core of all creation. She can be found in the fullness of the moment; she exists at the center of your every breath.
When you begin to express your deeper, most essential Self, life will take on a joyous, magical quality unlike anything your egoic self could ever imagine. You will no longer sleep walk through life in a trance of self-delusion. You will begin to feel truly alive and vibrant. The whole world will open up to you because you are at one with it and your star will be shining ever so brightly!
There is nothing more radiant and attractive in the world than a person who is lit from within. When the divine spark roars into a spiritual bonfire, it draws and warms others like a moth to a flame.
Your real life can only begin when you act from this deeper Self, this core at the heart of your being. The great love affair of your life is the one you have with yourself. That is why the greatest secret and tool of the weight loss master is self-love.
My wish for you is that you fall madly, deeply in love with yourself. There is such joy in this journey! It's also true that you may find some pain, but beneath this pain lies true freedom. The path of liberation is through the facing of pain. The Buddha taught that pain and suffering are a part of life. All addictions and compulsions serve as a way of avoiding the pain and unpleasantness of life.
This path requires courage. If you are willing to stay the course, you will find it. I promise you that. This freedom offers an unbounded joy that cannot be attained by strivings in the external world. Joy is your natural default button. It is your sacred birthright.
Amazing things happen when you begin to align with your Self and connect to your higher purpose in the world. You will find much support. You are never alone on this journey. The universe has a way of supporting you and giving you what you need. People and opportunities will begin to show up everywhere. Synchronicities and miracles begin to happen as you live from a state of flow connected to your spiritual power source.
You will know you have reached this place when feelings of peace, harmony, and contentment are with you most of the time. Weight and food will no longer be an issue. You will be joyfully engaged in the dance of life. When you are fully alive with the fierce radiance of an open heart, you will know that you have come home to yourself. You will be filled with a sense of wonder for the sacred mystery that is alive in the very heart of you.
May you awaken to the joy and wonder of you!
Catherine L. Taylor